Some of us learn that we have to prioritize the needs of our brothers and cousins before we even learn the alphabet.
“Oh no, sweetie. You sit here, and your sister will get that for you.”
“Of course, he gets a bigger share. He’s a growing boy and needs more food.”
As if we must undervalue ourselves because of what we were born as.
As if we were born to serve the “superior.”
Some of us are expected to go to the kitchen and put on our aprons as soon as guests arrive.
“What a good daughter you have; she’s already helping in the kitchen. She would make someone a great wife someday.”
“What a wonderful son you have; he’s helping you with the dishes. He would grow up into a fine young man.”
As if being someone’s wife is all we have to offer in life.
As if doing chores and cooking are not basic life skills.
Some of us are expected to use cosmetics to ‘look presentable’ or ‘look pretty.’
“You need to put some makeup on when you go to the interview to look professional.”
“Oh, honey, if you don’t do something about your face, you will never find a partner.”
As if what is on our face would entail how much work we can do.
As if we put on makeup to find a “partner.”
Some of us try to avoid chaos so that no one can deem us irrational.
“That is not how a young woman should behave.”
“Don’t make a big fuss. Partners stray all the time.”
As if anything other than a smile is a ticking bomb.
As if having strong emotions means we are irrational.
Some of them like to cook but are discouraged.
Some of them want to do makeup but are frowned upon.
Some of them have other emotions besides anger but are shamed.
We are not so different. We all know that most of us have had at least one of those experiences.
If any of us dare defy what is expected, we are treated like dogs refusing to get into their kennels; we are shushed and shooed.
But just because kennels are built for dogs does not mean dogs are made for kennels.
June 2021
